“APC goes to Ghana”– 7 things you didn’t read yesterday (but should have)

by Kolapo Olapoju

1. No governor’s support, no ambition.

Dear gubernatorial aspirants, if you don’t have the support of the incumbent governor, you are wasting your time.

Akwa Ibom State Governor, Godswill Akpabio, says nobody can become a governor of a state without the support of the incumbent.

2. Big butt quest = No arms and legs.

In the name of enlarging her buttocks, a lady has lost both arms and legs.

“My buttocks started to get hard, and then they started to get discoloured. By 2006, it was starting to itch and by 2007, the pain started. One thing about pain is that you can’t turn it off. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t even concentrate.”

3. Akwa Ibom and stomach infrastructure.

In yet another Akwa Ibom news, a governorship aspirant says just like Ekiti, stomach infrastructure is necessary in the oil-rich state.

The candidate of Accord Party, (AP) Bishop Samuel Akpan, says: “We are going to create employment. We are also going to run stomach infrastructure because of unemployment and we are going to embark on industrialization.”

4. APC goes to Ghana.

APC means business this time around. The party has billboards in Ghana, urging Nigerians to come back home and vote

The billboards do not only call on Nigerians to go home and vote for the APC, but listed the ills in the land, like: insecurity, corruption, unemployment and others.

5. I support my father’s killer.

Ismail Lawal wants Buhari to be president despite being responsible for his father’s death.

“My father was one the three young men executed by General M Buhari (rtd), the presidential candidate of the APC with a retroactive law some 30years ago. Yet, I HOPE.”

6. Mrs Akpabio, the scout.

We never knew the wife of Akwa Ibom Governor, had a gift in discovering potential governors… well, now we do.

Godswill Akpabio, says the Peoples Democratic Party candidate in the state, Udom Emmanuel, was first discovered by his wife, Mrs. Unoma Akpabio.

7. I was scammed the first time.

Muhammadu Buhari claims that he was cheated at the 2011 election… and he blames INEC.

The candidate of the All Progressives Congress (APC) says that he had no chance of winning the 2011 election because the computers of the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) were programmed to cut his votes by 40 per cent.